Christmas as a separated parent
3 December 2024
Christmas can be a tricky time when you’re a separated parent. So how can you make the festive season go more smoothly for you:
Plan ahead
Consider early on what arrangements might work for you all.
Will the children alternate Christmas Days each year, or maybe have a set pattern of two ‘Christmas Days’, one on 25th as usual, but another perhaps on Christmas Eve or Boxing Day so they get double the excitement.
Consider other extended family members too. Can you work around those relationships so that your children get to see everyone they want to see?
Above all, think about the arrangements sooner rather than later (the children will want to make sure Santa knows where to find them!).
Christmas concerts and other events
Your children might have nativity plays, Christmas concerts, carol services and maybe other events to attend. Try to plan ahead for these so that the children know where they stand and aren’t worried about what might or might not happen.
If there will be two performances of a concert, it might be sensible for one of you to go to each – not just to reduce the opportunity for arguments and awkwardness, but because the children will probably want one of you there whenever they perform.
If there is only one performance, you’ll probably both want to go, so it’s important to ensure the children don’t pick up on any negativity.
Christmas Presents
Communicate with your ex to agree who will buy what present. This will help you avoid duplication and ensure that the children get as many of the presents they want as possible.
Don’t make it a competition. Try to resist the urge to compete with your ex to buy the children more expensive presents, or bigger presents, or the most presents.
And ideally try not to tell the children that they can’t take the new, expensive gift you bought to their mum’s or to their dad’s. Remember, it’s their present and they’ll probably want to take it with them, so try not to make things more difficult for the children by refusing to let them.
The children might also want to buy a present for their other parent and might need your help to do so. This will probably go against your instinct, but don’t think of it as a gift for your ex, it’s a gift for your children really. They’ll get the pleasure of being able to give a gift to their other parent and you’ll be setting the tone for their Christmas – one of cooperation rather than animosity.
And finally …
Christmas as a separated parent will probably require you to come up with new family traditions. But new can be good, and hopefully these tips will help you come up with new traditions that work for you and your family.
And above all – enjoy your Christmas!
If you’d like to discuss Christmas contact arrangements, or any other family law matter, get in touch.
This article was written by Redkite Solicitors, Paula Tanner. To find out more about Paula and the support that she can provide to you, visit her website profile here: https://www.redkitesolicitors.co.uk/team/paula-tanner/
The contents of this article are intended for general information purposes only and shall not be deemed to be, or constitute legal advice. We cannot accept responsibility for any loss as a result of acts or omissions taken in respect of this article.